ALL THINGS PRETTY

January 01, 2013

reflecting

Another year.

I haven't posted on this blog in a LONG time. Where does time go? The last post was September of 2011, a little over a year ago. It may not seem that long ago, but a lot has happened and changed, and changed again. I'm trying to figure out what happened that life became so busy... Well, here we go, reflecting on quite an amazing journey

December 2011

To start in December is sentimental, and very emotional. Three very specific things always come into my head when I think about where I was a year ago. A significant turning point because I was entering my final semester of college. At LIM College, your last semester is you "Senior Co-Op." We are required to work/intern FULL-TIME, attend class once a week, and work on an online simulation... on top of that I was also trying to be 21 years old, and work a part-time job, still at SoulCycle. The biggest fear and challenge for me was deciding on where I wanted to intern for the next five months, and how would that lead me into what I was suppose to be planning on doing once I graduated... I decided that I was going to take the offer at Evin's Communications in NYC. If you know me now, you'll know my true feelings on the entire experience.

Another memory, or significant event that happened was on Christmas Day. Traditionally, I spent time with my family in New Jersey. Around 9:45pm my friend, Wedee, called me (it was his birthday, why was HE calling ME on HIS birthday...). First thing he asked was if I was "okay." I had no idea what he was talking about, then he explained to me, and told me to check my email. SoulCycle sent us a company email as well as a email to our clients with heart breaking news of the passing of Clare Walsh. I was certainly in shock, feeling disbelief and confused. What happened? Why do good people, happy people leave unexpectedly, and not by choice? The rest of that week was crazy. I was compelled to spend all my time with my SoulCycle family. Clare and I were friends, but she had deeper relationships with other people that mean a lot to me, I was feeling for them. Seeing people you love so sad and hurt, is a feeling so unimaginable - you just want to be helpful and ease the pain for them.. I could literally go on and on about clare but long story kind of short, she made me realize the true value of life and the days, people, breaths- we take for granted. Clare was only a year older than me. If you ask anyone who knew her, she was an old soul, lived life so fully and was just so completely beyond her years. I asked myself one day, if that was me, I didn't do enough in my life. I know I have so much more life to live and there is so much I want to do/see... Everything I did this year I did for or because of Clare; "what would clare do?" "Clare, be with me on this one...," "Clare, I really need your strength right now." It might sound silly, and if you know me, you might be like "I didn't know that," well its true. Every little detail of this year was because of Clare and the life she inspires us all to live.

Briefly, around this time last year I took a risk... to allow myself to be open to a new relationship. I took a risk to let myself go, be open minded to the idea that a realy genuinely great guy actually was interested in me and all I had to offer. This was the beginning of something surprisingly beautiful. He taught me how to look at things from different perspectives, lighten up, let go, laugh, love, kiss, fool around, live in the moment, forget the past... He was my first valentine in a very long time, he didn't give me much of a choice either but it was amazing. He accepted my flaws. I accepted his. Truly, I couldn't be happier that he walked into my life in 2012.

March 2012

NYC Half Marathon.
I signed up for the Half in January. A few of my good friends, Nick, Kelly, and Mike, all said that they too were going to challenge themselves and run the Half. Nick and I ended up being the only ones completing it. But wow, can I tell you... training was not easy but it felt amazing. I pushed myself a little bit every day to run even just a mile, or see how far I can run until I couldn't. It was a cold January-March. I cut back on SoulCycle but continued to ride in early morning classes to keep my stamina up. training took my anger out. I was resentful at the time, and not super happy with myself on how I had been acting when it come to friendships... Theres always a reason why we do things right? I ran the 13.5 miles in 2 hours and 1 minute; WHAT! Thats insane. I think thats good for my first time. What a feeling of accomplishment.

May 2012

Graduation.
I graduated from LIM College. Talk about Struggle City... That last stretch of the semester was interesting. Finished my Co-Op at Evin's Communications, struggled but finished the online simulation game with the help of the best partner and best friend a girl can ask for, Nicole, and walked across the stage at Lincoln Center. Its amazing to think that FOUR years ago, senior in High School, how different I was. How priorities have changed, people, friends, environments, hair color... Emotionally, I never that I would be ready for "the real world," and maybe it sure didn't feel like it, I was, or am... The hardest part about graduating is the pressure of finding a j-o-b. After Clare passed away, I wanted to live life Happy. No matter what I was going to do my ultimately goal and dream in life is to be happy. Even before I chose where I would be completely my Senior Co-Op, I knew deep down that the company I am passionate about is SoulCycle. Yes, I would love to work for a cool, fashion PR firm, or do in-house PR for a brand, or even just find work in a more creative marketing field like Advertising, but at the end of the day, sitting at a desk was not/is not for me. I found myself more in a month, more than i have ever in two years.

I as given an opportunity to be an Assistant Manager for SoulCycle's new Brentwood, California, location. It seemed right, it seemed ideal, it was what any parent would want for their kid- an entry level j-o-b. Plus, moving to CALIFORNIA has been my dream. Four years ago, I was set that I wanted to move and start my life in CA after college.

September 27, 2011

"Persistence"

It is always so refreshing and exciting to see people you know pursuing their passions, being successful and giving life a shot. My friend Tyler Mays and his friend aka Sha Mook launched their first single and video. With the help of other local, and friend Patrick Irwin who directed and edited the video, "Persistence" has become part of my iTunes play list. Lots of love and appreciation to everyone who took part in this project, best of luck in your future endeavors. I love "Persistence" not only because its a great song, but because it shows how committed, hard working, goal oriented and happy people can be.

See what Tyler has to offer next and follow him at @Ty_Chad

per·sis·tence noun \pər-ˈsis-tən(t)s, -ˈzis-\

Always,
Bea

September 21, 2011

new life

This post is probably going to be quite long but there is a lot that I wanted to get off my chest. A lot has happened (considerably) since I returned home from Europe. I was busy working majority of the time and when I wasn't working, I was resting or relaxing. Yeah, I had my share of fun along the way but I wouldn't say it was ideal. Especially when my senior year at College began. The first four weeks have been really tough on me. Mostly because me and my roommates have been looking for the perfect apartment for us. So much effort was put into the search and was let down twice. I couldn't focus on school, I was constantly exhausted from trekking up, down, left, right-- throughout all of Manhattan. Did I mention I have been commuting? Or sleeping on couches and showering at work? Tough. Every time I had the chance to go home, to Bellport, I did and I still do. I mean, I would rather sleep in my own bed than crashing on a couch. The point is that I am home. The past four years I have always had the luxury to be home whenever and as often as I please since I only went to school in the city. An external viewer may think "must be nice," but internally, from my point of view, it makes me feel... different. I don't have the luxury of being away from the past as easily. No option of creating a huge circle of friends aside from the ones from home. Meeting new people is hard. Being twenty something is like being forty seven, full time job, working to pay rent and no time to go to keg parties. I am not saying I hate my life. Granted, people my age (my friends, yours) want this life. They envy it and I don't blame them. The part of me that is writing this can't seem to get that one foot in front and its stuck in the past. I look at people that I am no longer friends with or have any connection with anymore and think to myself: "how lucky," "they move on quick," or "they seem happy." Yeah, I have excelled and grown as a student, professional, adult, employee and all of the above. But why is it that the most important thing to me, happiness and love, are so hard for me to find. Is it because I desire too much? "You can't always get what you want..." plays in the back of my head.

Then I think back to three days ago when I had an epiphany, I tweeted,
"Change is happening. #control #mindbodycardio #mylife," and "Things are going tostart changing... #handsonthesteeringwheel #taking control #forreal" I was driving around town (that just made me cringe, being in TOWN and not in the city) and realized that as much as I cared, I was careless. Meaning I was careless about me, myself. I have to stop saying that I don't care what I look like and that I eat too much and start loving myself. I should take advantage of my amazing part-time job, work out, stay in shape, consistently eat health, and present myself physically and mentally as the go-getting, out-going, bubbly person that I am. Things are going t get better. Better things are coming my way, even more good people are waiting to enter my world, I just need to let the universe let it... and that starts with me. There are a lot of things I am asking for in the work and it all comes down to happiness and love. I truly believe that there is a lot of things waiting for me and there also is someone who will make me feel like I'M the lucky one, that I AM the one who moves on, and that I AM happy... in reality I am, but its my life and am taking it to a new level.

Xx

September 11, 2011

Big jet plane

Someone told me there's a girl out there with love in her eyes and flowers in her hair.
Took my chances on a big jet plane, never let them tell you that they're all the same.
The sea was red and the sky was grey, wondered how tomorrow could ever follow today.

--led zeppelin

August 09, 2011

aspire

"I'm not the greatest. I'm the double greatest. Not only do I knock 'em out, I pick the round. I'm the boldest, the prettiest, the most superior, most scientific, most skilfullest fighter in the ring today."

-Muhammad Ali

June 23, 2011

live

Cali Road Trip Extravaganza from Matt McCann on Vimeo.

Some friends of mine went on a road trip-- CA to NY. One of my good friends Matt McCann (who was one of the 4 guys) made this sick video of the trip that I know you'll all love and enjoy just as much as I do.

Check it out!

----

"Oh, knock that down, leave the ground and find some space

And tell your friends, friends,

You'll be back again, gain

Before it's too late.

If the color's

No need to be sad.

It really ain't that bad.

Oooooooooh, If the color's

No need to be sad.

It really ain't that bad

If the color's

No need to be sad.

You've still got your"

More lyrics: http://www.lyricsmania.com/colours_lyrics_grouplove.html

All about Grouplove: http://www.musictory.com/music/Grouplove

June 10, 2011

Could

May 20, 2011

beatles

He's a real Nowhere Man,

Sitting in his Nowhere Land,

Making all his nowhere plans for nobody.

Doesn't have a point of view,

Knows not where he's going to,

Isn't he a bit like you and me?

- The Beatles

May 17, 2011

another

Words cannot describe how I feel today and the past few days. One friend after another leaves our shitty living situation in an amazing city, amazing country, amazing continent. Its more than just a bittersweet feeling. I honeslty cannot even handle how fast it went.

London, all of Europe in fact, and every other experience-- expected and unexpected-- thank you for a life changing experience. There will be memories to last longer than a lifetime and I wouldn't change a thing.

I needed it. I'm proud of it. I'm ready for whats next... 1 more week.