reflecting

Another year.

I haven't posted on this blog in a LONG time. Where does time go? The last post was September of 2011, a little over a year ago. It may not seem that long ago, but a lot has happened and changed, and changed again. I'm trying to figure out what happened that life became so busy... Well, here we go, reflecting on quite an amazing journey

December 2011

To start in December is sentimental, and very emotional. Three very specific things always come into my head when I think about where I was a year ago. A significant turning point because I was entering my final semester of college. At LIM College, your last semester is you "Senior Co-Op." We are required to work/intern FULL-TIME, attend class once a week, and work on an online simulation... on top of that I was also trying to be 21 years old, and work a part-time job, still at SoulCycle. The biggest fear and challenge for me was deciding on where I wanted to intern for the next five months, and how would that lead me into what I was suppose to be planning on doing once I graduated... I decided that I was going to take the offer at Evin's Communications in NYC. If you know me now, you'll know my true feelings on the entire experience.

Another memory, or significant event that happened was on Christmas Day. Traditionally, I spent time with my family in New Jersey. Around 9:45pm my friend, Wedee, called me (it was his birthday, why was HE calling ME on HIS birthday...). First thing he asked was if I was "okay." I had no idea what he was talking about, then he explained to me, and told me to check my email. SoulCycle sent us a company email as well as a email to our clients with heart breaking news of the passing of Clare Walsh.   I was certainly in shock, feeling disbelief and confused. What happened? Why do good people, happy people leave unexpectedly, and not by choice? The rest of that week was crazy. I was compelled to spend all my time with my SoulCycle family. Clare and I were friends, but she had deeper relationships with other people that mean a lot to me, I was feeling for them. Seeing people you love so sad and hurt, is a feeling so unimaginable - you just want to be helpful and ease the pain for them.. I could literally go on and on about clare but long story kind of short, she made me realize the true value of life and the days, people, breaths- we take for granted. Clare was only a year older than me. If you ask anyone who knew her, she was an old soul, lived life so fully and was just so completely beyond her years. I asked myself one day, if that was me, I didn't do enough in my life. I know I have so much more life to live and there is so much I want to do/see... Everything I did this year I did for or because of Clare; "what would clare do?" "Clare, be with me on this one...," "Clare, I really need your strength right now." It might sound silly, and if you know me, you might be like "I didn't know that," well its true. Every little detail of this year was because of Clare and the life she inspires us all to live.

Briefly, around this time last year I took a risk... to allow myself to be open to a new relationship. I took a risk to let myself go, be open minded to the idea that a realy genuinely great guy actually was interested in me and all I had to offer. This was the beginning of something surprisingly beautiful. He taught me how to look at things from different perspectives, lighten up, let go, laugh, love, kiss, fool around, live in the moment, forget the past... He was my first valentine in a very long time, he didn't give me much of a choice either but it was amazing. He accepted my flaws. I accepted his. Truly, I couldn't be happier that he walked into my life in 2012.

March 2012

NYC Half Marathon.
I signed up for the Half in January. A few of my good friends, Nick, Kelly, and Mike, all said that they too were going to challenge themselves and run the Half. Nick and I ended up being the only ones completing it. But wow, can I tell you... training was not easy but it felt amazing. I pushed myself a little bit every day to run even just a mile, or see how far I can run until I couldn't. It was a cold January-March. I cut back on SoulCycle but continued to ride in early morning classes to keep my stamina up. training took my anger out. I was resentful at the time, and not super happy with myself on how I had been acting when it come to friendships... Theres always a reason why we do things right? I ran the 13.5 miles in 2 hours and 1 minute; WHAT! Thats insane. I think thats good for my first time. What a feeling of accomplishment.

May 2012

Graduation.
I graduated from LIM College. Talk about Struggle City... That last stretch of the semester was interesting. Finished my Co-Op at Evin's Communications, struggled but finished the online simulation game with the help of the best partner and best friend a girl can ask for, Nicole, and walked across the stage at Lincoln Center. Its amazing to think that FOUR years ago, senior in High School, how different I was. How priorities have changed, people, friends, environments, hair color... Emotionally, I never that I would be ready for "the real world," and maybe it sure didn't feel like it, I was, or am... The hardest part about graduating is the pressure of finding a j-o-b. After Clare passed away, I wanted to live life Happy. No matter what I was going to do my ultimately goal and dream in life is to be happy. Even before I chose where I would be completely my Senior Co-Op, I knew deep down that the company I am passionate about is SoulCycle. Yes, I would love to work for a cool, fashion PR firm, or do in-house PR for a brand, or even just find work in a more creative marketing field like Advertising, but at the end of the day, sitting at a desk was not/is not for me. I found myself more in a month, more than i have ever in two years.

 I as given an opportunity to be an Assistant Manager for SoulCycle's new Brentwood, California, location. It seemed right, it seemed ideal, it was what any parent would want for their kid- an entry level j-o-b. Plus, moving to CALIFORNIA has been my dream. Four years ago, I was set that I wanted to move and start my life in CA after college.